Pastor Chris on marriage: “Those involved and God can tell if it is successful”

As a minister, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome often gets questions from people on all matters in life, including marriage.

Lisa from Ukraine once sent Pastor Chris Oyakhilome the following question:

“What assurance does one have in having a successful marriage? There is no reference to having a successful marriage in the scriptures. The most we have is that it is better not to get married, as Paul said.”

According to the pastor, advice on a successful marriage does not appear in the Bible because it is more important to God that you have a successful life.

“I would say that what in the mind of anyone, including the one who is asking… What in your mind is a successful marriage? How do you measure a successful marriage? What would be the reference for a successful marriage? Apparently, that is why you do not really have that in the Bible. God would rather want you to have a successful life. If you have a successful life, then you would be a candidate for a successful anything that you are involved in,” Pastor Chris Oyakhilome answered.

Pastor Chris: “What is a successful marriage?”

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome then elaborated on how difficult it is to define a successful marriage.

“So, we have to first know what a successful marriage is. Is a successful marriage a marriage that lasts happily ever after? Is a successful marriage a marriage that fulfills all what everybody else thinks is needed for it? Or would a successful marriage be a marriage that is in fulfillment of God’s predetermined goals?” the pastor asked and continued:

“All around the world, how many people actually get married to fulfill God’s dream? Most people do not. They get married because they love each other. And so, not necessarily because God had a purpose for their coming together. Most come together because they say, ‘We will do this for God, we will do this for ourselves’ or whatever it is. But how many go into it because it was God’s desire and God has something that he wanted them to fulfill together for God? And does God tell everybody what that thing is?”

Answering the question from Lisa in Ukraine, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome concluded that a successful marriage is in the hands of God and those involved.

“It means that it is those involved together with God that can tell whether or not they are successful. Everyone else cannot tell. So, that leaves the successful marriage in the hands of God and those involved rather than everyone else trying to tell why they are successful because they look successful. So, that is why you do not have that kind of information – rather, it gives you all of the information that you require to be a successful person. Then, you will fulfill God’s calling in your life.”